Starship Titanic Booking Office


So you want to sign up?

Good. You've made the sort of wise, successful and thrusting decision we've come to expect from you.

You see... remember the information you gave us? The name? The email address? The frog preference? Thanks to that, we think we know you. We know we like you. And we'd like to trust you.

And we'd like you to trust us. In return for just a few more incredibly sensitive personal details, we offer you not just personalized attention but special privileges.

* Priority booking on the greatest leisure cruise experience of all time: the MAIDEN VOYAGE of the STARSHIP TITANIC.
* Special PRIVILEGED ACCESS to areas of this web site, where, in the EXCLUSIVE company of people ALMOST AS SUCCESSFUL AS YOU, you will be able to see your cruise-vessel in the final stages of development, with no TACKY END-USERS on cheap SUBURBAN ISP's hanging around pointlessly, lost on their way to or Calvin's Bondage Babes.
* Your own PRE-CONFIGURED Personal Electronic Thing for onboard enjoyment.
* Your own ACTUAL PERSONAL NAME inscribed for ALL ETERNITY on Starlight Travel's state-of-the-art RT-1007 Personalized Advice System for Transfer of Realtime Automated Multichannel Informatics. Yes! Fed up with SPAM? Try P.A.S.T.R.A.M.I. and FEEL the DIFFERENCE right there in your very own mailbox.

And all with ABSOLUTE SECURITY GUARANTEED. Would we lie? Well: wouldwe?

Ask yourself this: Would youlie, if that's what you had to do to get the business of someone like you?