And we'd like to reassure you that your trust in us is not misplaced.
All the sensitive data which you will supply on this form will
be coded in ultra-secure 256 gigabit strong encryption, and stored
behind a multi-firewall zero-tolerance mil-spec lockout system
using fluid dynamic optical storage technology to ensure utter,
permanent, irreversible destruction in the event of physical intrusion.
Our data-handling staff have all been cleared AAAA1 by the CIA,
the KGB, Standard & Poor's and Mrs Eunice Wadsworth MacNahaggarty,
who ran a dry goods store in Whapo, Sulsanapolis for 57 years
and knows a bad 'un when she sees one.
All our operatives dress impeccably, have no private attachments
of any kind, and are prepared to give their lives for the security
of your personal data. To ensure these standards are met, we conduct
regular staff training sessions in which our Director of Compliance,
Mr Gian-Carlo "Cufflinks" di Pesto, calls for volunteers and blows
There's no catch. We pledge that this personal data will NEVER
BE PASSED ON to ANY company or individual whom we do not pass
it on to. Nor will we harass you with BOGUS "OPPORTUNITIES". By
completing this simple form, you make no commitment other than
registering with us that you are a sufficiently dynamic and successful,
truly unique individual who might possibly be smart enough to
be interested in finding out more about the almost unbelievably
exciting cruise schedule of the Starship Titanic.