Going Up!

You know all about going up. You've spent your entire career going up. But on the Starship Titanic, even going down can be a pleasure, with a helping hand from our highly-specified LiftBot, Sardjutant G. "Nobby" Nobbington-Froat.



Like all the Starship Titanic CrewBots, "Nobby" has been carefully-crafted not only for maximum efficiency but for style, chic and traditional values. "Nobby" harks back to the grace and elegance of byegone days, when every elevator in the galaxy was operated by a retired soldier with a fine line in hypochondria and military remeniscence. Now, once again, Titanic designer Leovinus has abjured the soulless impersonality of the self-operated elevator and returned to a more leisurely age of vertical -- and, this being the Titanic, horizontal -- transportation. "Nobby" will thrill you with his stories of battles of yore and turn your blimpht to water as he recounts his more recondite ailments: his Asgon's Tregeriasis, his pains in the caprifornium, his arthusia and samorrhoids, the endless trouble with his anphosterous system which has left the doctors baffled.

And, for absolute verisimilitude, he has also been equipped with just the one arm and a fully-working virtual Woodbine.

As Nobby says: "Wot you want? Wot's your game, then? Wot you after? Wot you on? Thrip off. Garn. Gertcha. Gerrartofit. Thrip off. Thought I'd seena bacca your sort at the battle of bin-j'Jabbli, right do that was, forty fahsand squishy-wishies charging dahn ve hill armed to the glayves, but was we dahnhearted? Yeah. We was. So'd you've bin an' all. Nah...thrip off."

"Nobby" the LiftBot: service with a difference - Titanic style.


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