Blop! Gollum! Bloople! Glop!

That's the characteristic sound of the awful nastiness that goes on in the Unspoken Regions of your average starship. The Dark Zone where only the crew - shambling Morlocks with the sensitivity of a wusser's znip - ever venture. The Hideous Rooms, the Part Behind The Door Marked "Yuck", the, in short, bilges.

But not aboard the Starship Titanic. In Leovinus's masterpiece, even the bilges are clean. Fragrant. Redolent of snarf-wood, elbia resin and the light, summery fragrance of epidophilus wilmshurstii.

 

 

Most so-called starships, you'd want to stay away. In the Titanic, a visit to the bilges is definitely on your in-ship itinerary. See the Master Suc-U-Bus Exit Vent! Tingle to the sounds of the Grand Axial Canal feeder-tanks! You can even, at no extra charge, join the romantic partner of your choice (see p.239 in the offline brochure) for a romantic bilgeside diner-à-deux. The perfect end to a perfect day? Why, of course; every day's a perfect day on the Starship Titanic.

 

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